Breakups are painful and moving on from a past relationship is hard. Everyone handles grief in different ways, but all of us face the same stages. Just as we all battle demons in our own ways, we handle a breakup similarly. In this article, we will explore the details of the stages of grief after breakup After reading this article, you will understand everything about the 7 stages of grief after breakup.
A. Types of Breakups
Every relationship is different, and so are the breakups. The situations or circumstances may be the same, but every person faces a different scenario.
- First Love breakup falls into a separate category because it is a combination of all types. It is difficult for everyone because it is the first time they experience it.
- In a mutual breakup, there is consent from both sides because they understand things are not working out. They realize there is no point in dragging things further, and it is much better to end things mutually without any hard feelings.
- Circumstantial breakups involve one person gives unnecessary reasons to end a relationship. Sometimes, they do so, to not bring up the other person’s weakness and to end things mutually. For example, my parents do not like you, and I cannot go against their will.
- Ultimatum breakups are more like a warning. If the other person does not do as asked, the relationship will come to an end. For example, a girlfriend gives an ultimatum to her boyfriend to get settled within six months and marry her, or she will leave him.
- Stages of grief after breakup begin after something said-breakup also. These are the ones where a person says something during a conversation or puts up their opinion in front of their partner. For example, a guy is discussing how his girlfriend’s friend got ditched. And the guy puts up his opinion that he could do the same to a girl like her. This sentence was out of hatred, but eventually, he expressed his real intentions.
- End to cheating breakups happens when a person finds out that their partner has been cheating on them. This is very common. Deciding to leave the cheater will never be regretted. A cheater will always be a cheater.
- Turning a blind eye to breakups is like when a person wants to leave intentionally without any reason and closure. They will easily do it out of the blue and leave the other person wondering what went wrong. (See What is Anti Valentine Week?)
B. Stages of Grief after Breakup
Breakups are extremely difficult to get past as not only do they mess with a person’s emotions but also their mental well-being. If you are suffering from a rough patch in your relationship and planning to break up, or have already broken up and looking for ways to deal with it, learn about these 7 stages of grief breakup to help yourself recover faster.
1. Dealing with Denial
You cannot accept that things are over and you have had a breakup. You keep on grieving and lamenting because you feel like this cannot happen to you, and your ex could never do such a thing to you. During stages of grief after breakup, sometimes you even try to call them or go to their place with a false hope that things will get back to as they once were. You keep denying the truth, your instincts, your friends’ opinions or advice, and basically, everything that seems practical.
2. Start Seeking Answers
Once you realize that your ex is not going to return, things come flashing back to you. You want answers now, i.e., wondering if things were going well, how did it result in a breakup. You keep thinking about why they cheated on you, or how your love became insufficient. You want answers to questions that were left unanswered, and now your mind is restless. You even question yourself – pondering about if the person does not value you, why you still lament that they left. (See 10 Red Flags in a Relationship with a Woman)
3. Better not Blame Yourself
Then, there comes a phase when you start blaming yourself for all that has happened. You recall memories and conclude that you were not an attentive partner or argued too much. You also feel that you should have been more considerate towards your relationship. And in this entire process, you neglect where your partner was wrong. So, do not blame or undervalue yourself. Learn and move forward! (See Why do some people feel uncomfortable around strangers?)
4. Bargaining with Yourself and Others
You are ready to fix things at any cost, and you want your partner to come back to you. During this phase, people who care about you continuously try to make things clearer for you, but you are won’t give an ear to them. You are afraid of losing yourself in the process of losing your partner. Bargaining can also lead to the conclusion that both of you were responsible for the beginning and the end alike. You are not solely responsible for this. (See How to Get Over a Breakup in Less Than a Week?)
5. Refrain from Relapsing
The pain becomes unbearable, and you somehow want to convince your ex to try once again. Sometimes, it is not the first breakup with the same person, and every time you simply try to mend things hoping it would be better. But, the reality is that you are in even more pain than before with every breakup. You just do not want to give up the habit of that person being around.
6. Being Angry then, Acting Respectful
The moment you realize that you can do just fine without them, you start feeling anger building within you. You begin to understand that carrying a relationship should be a mutual effort from both sides. Anger, among the other stages of grief after breakup is the one that makes you feel empowered about your presence, your value, your place, and your dignity. Anger is necessary because it indicates that your heart is thinking rationally and moving forward in this journey. You accept the fact that you need to be respected. (See Psychology of Ignoring Someone)
7. Acceptance and Moving On
Yes, there will be a moment when you will accept this all as one bitter truth and a part of your life. You will understand that things like this happened, and the world did not end over that one single person who did not value you ever. You accept that you deserve more, and that person did not deserve you at all.
When you completely accept the breakup, the pain, and the experiences, you are opening new ways for hope to enter your life. You have completed the journey of pain, and you deserve more from this beautiful life. You are now ready to start a new phase and new journey of your life, and it doesn’t need to be with a partner. You are strong enough to walk alone unless and until you feel the need for a partner. (See 10 Golden Rules of Life)
C. Understand Yourself Better
To avoid going through these stages of grief after breakup, we suggest that
- You must never make a commitment just because you are single and your friends have partners.
- Do not take part in a relationship out of curiosity or because of physical attraction.
- Do not believe the orthodox mentality of people that everyone requires a partner to survive because you do not need anyone else.
- Learn How to Practice Self-Love?
Being practical would help you to avoid the 7 stages of grief breakup. And stages of grief after a breakup are harmful to your mental health.