There are a lot of myths and misconceptions when it comes to men. Though some things are true, not everything that is associated with men about breakups is right. But how men deal with breakups? An end to a happy period is not easy for anyone. Let it be men, women, trans, etc. Everyone gets hurt when suddenly their happiness is snatched away from them. Even when the separation is expected, the grieving period continues for a longer period and each one has their way of dealing with breakups. When it comes to men, you often hear or see that they get over it pretty fast by turning to alcohol or finding the next partner or seem happy, chirpy, etc. Won’t they feel hurt? You would want to know how do men deal with breakups then continue reading the article to know.
How Do Guys Deal with Breakups?
Before judging, one must understand that men feel pain too. Because of society’s imposition that all men should suck it up and move on, not show their feelings, guys are subconsciously trained to act to society’s expectations. Not all men are like that. Some are not afraid to show their true feelings and be vulnerable. If not all men get over breakups easily then how do men deal with breakups? (See What is Romantic Love in Psychology?)
Everyone is almost familiar with the stages of grief that are experienced by women. But men handle their pain, grief, or sadness differently. How men deal with breakups differently? There are seven stages of grief or pain experienced by men after a bad breakup.
1. Ego Phase
A man’s sense of entitlement and his fragile ego gets the better of him after a breakup. He keeps with the charade that everything is fine and he is absolutely fine even though his emotions are all over and is hurting inside. He himself is seen searching for the answers to how do guys deal with breakups. Although the research led by the Journal of Experimental Psychology says that one should accept their feelings and not fight them, this phase is crucial as it helps men get over the breakup subtly. Because eventually, this ego of theirs will deflate. So letting go of ego is one of the ways how men deal with breakups. (See The 10 Types Of Personality Disorder)
2. Socializing Phase
By nature, you know that man is a social animal. After a breakup, a man tries to avoid facing his emotions, sweep them under the rug, and starts socializing as if nothing wrong happened to dull the pain. Besides this, to fill the sudden void in this life, he starts interacting more with people. Although this might looks bad as men don’t fall in and out of love quickly. It’s just filling a habit that takes a much longer time to go away. This is the most efficient stage of how men deal with breakups. (See PhD Vs PsyD in Psychology)
3. Realization Phase
For men, the process of going through a breakup starts only when it realizes that he is truly alone and emotionally weak at the moment. Most of the time, to inflate their ego, they hang out with their friends, flirt, get laid, or even drown themselves in work. Soon they realize, instead of giving themselves the time to heal, they are going too fast, the real healing begins at that moment, and they start looking for love again. (See How to Heal Yourself Emotionally?)
4. Angry and Sad Phase
This phase helps them in coming to terms with what happened. After a certain amount of acceptance of their state, they start questioning everything that has happened. So how men deal with breakups since they have been avoiding their feelings for so long? Hence the outcome of this avoidance might be shown as anger or sadness. Often they feel like venting out their frustration but when someone tries to help, they lash out. Despite being an important one, this is the messiest of phases. (Also read Significance of CBT Anger Management Therapy)
5. Acceptance Phase
During this phase after accepting what has happened and coming to terms with it, men try to look for new relationships or try to get back together with their exes. In most cases, the rebound relationship fizzles out as he won’t be ready for a new relationship yet. He comes to terms with the fact that he needs more time and tries to take things slowly. (See How to End a Toxic Friendship?)
6. Redirecting Hope
The critical and the longest phase that a man goes through after a breakup. So as a man, you should practice and understand this stage to know about how men deal with breakups. During this phase, he gains the trust back in himself and the opposite person slowly as there are too many layers and emotions that a man has kept within himself. He starts analyzing his needs, and wants and tries to find his way through the field again. The key to being successful during this phase is lots and lots of patience. (Also read How to Know if Someone Loves You Psychology?)
7. Back in the Game
After months or even years, comes this stage where men break their inhibition to start dating for real again. Some might even stay alone until they find what they are looking for in a partner. This phase happens only if they get clarity and let go of everything from the past. This one is the final step of how men deal with breakups. (See How to Be Loved By Everyone?)
The above seven mentioned stages that are gone through by men are important in analyzing the deep-rooted behavioral pattern. It is important to note that everyone can come out alive somewhat scar-free if they properly go through the stages and give the necessary time to heal out of grief. Must read the 10 Red Flags in a Relationship with a Woman.
Hopefully, this article gave you a better understanding of how men deal with breakups. If you know any man who went through a breakup recently try to help and make him understand the importance of grief and its stages. Whether you are men or a woman and feeling sad after a painful breakup, you can also check out the 7 Stages of Grief after Breakup.