Taking the decision to spend your entire life with a person and moving in with them is a big step. Everyone believes in a soul partner, but things can go wrong even with your soul mate. Like a relationship, marriages also need effort from both sides, and marriage coaching helps you make your marriage work. Now you must be thinking about what happens in marriage counseling and is there any counseling for marriage problems. Read further to find more about it.
1. What is Marriage Coaching and Counseling?
Both coaching and counseling are different because the former focuses on the past while the latter is future-oriented. Let me tell you the differences between the two.
- Marriage coaching is for those couples who want to save their relationship and move on ahead with their marriage. A marriage coach provides necessary solutions and tools to incorporate into their lives to help them achieve the married life they want. But sometimes, when a marriage coach does not handle the situation, they recommend a marriage counselor.
- Marriage counseling handles more complex issues like past hurts, mental health issues, or behavioral patterns that have affected marriage life. Their motive is to understand the couple’s past and create a healthy present and future.
However, there are situations where both counseling and coaching do not work, and things end in divorce. (Also read What is an Unhealthy Relationship?)
2. What are the Duties of a Marriage Coach?
A marriage coach is an expert who notices the hardships and difficulties of relationships. They guide and help the couple to mend those issues. He helps in resolving those issues which are not handled by the couple themselves. The main tasks of the coach during marriage coaching involve the following.
- He will give the couple a new way of thinking and looking towards situations. He will open their minds towards each other’s thinking process and make things understandable by each of them.
- He will also help make communication possible in the best way without any conflict between the couple. He will bring out those points that are somewhere lost among the misunderstandings.
- He will be a teacher to the couple and teach them several skills, like listening, expressing, communicating, observation, and understanding. (Also read What is the Difference Between Hearing and Listening?)
- He also educates the couple to overcome the negative aspects and habits. He will show the correct way to improve them.
- A marriage coach will be like the third person who will share his point of view with you about how your marriage looks from the outsider’s point of view. He will tell you about the good and bad he notices in your married life. He will be impartial with you because he is aware of both sides.
- A marriage coach will also help you to change the way you think about each other. Sometimes, you start resenting each other. It is normal since your emotional needs are not satisfied. But your partner feels the same, and both of you are unaware of this. Marriage coaching will uncover things and help you let go of resentment towards your partner. (Also read Psychology Behind Vicarious Embarrassment)
3. What happens in Marriage Counseling?
- During the counseling, you will recognize the goals and milestones you want to achieve in your marriage. Your counselor will help you to achieve them, and he will remind you from time to time about the reasons you are attending the sessions.
- There are times when you or your partner might get off the track, but your counselor will keep hold of you both and will not let you give up.
- During counseling, you will get your ultimate support system in the face of your counselor and you can share your problems and issues. You will no longer be alone to suffer all those mental and emotional concerns. (See How to Heal Yourself Emotionally?)
- He will be someone who cares for both of you, and you also need to trust your counselor. Your marriage counselor will help you see things through and make you both aware of emotional tools that you have forgotten to use effectively.
- Your marriage counselor will make you think practical. He will sometimes challenge you to do things necessary for your marriage, but you are not ready to do them. (Also read What is Romantic Love in Psychology?)
4. Why is Counseling for Marriage Problems important?
There are distinct reasons that you should acknowledge and take action to improve your marriage life. Also, check out 10 golden rules of life.
- If you are both fighting over the same thing repeatedly without any change and productive outcome, then you need help.
- You require help if you are afraid that your kids might see you fighting and the emotional disturbances may impact the kids.
- It is a severe problem if you feel you have more responsibilities and cannot find the right way to express and communicate this with your partner.
- If you are suffering from mental health issues or any abuse, you should attend a marriage counselor.
- If you feel your partner is not emotionally attentive towards you and your needs and there is no romantic chemistry, the sexual relationship is also affected.
- If you suffer a tragedy and find it hard to move on again with your partner while your partner thinks you are unreasonable, you have to visit a marriage counselor.
- If every communication ends up in an argument and the last line is to divorce, it is better to visit a marriage counselor to get a better solution. (Also read How to Be Loved By Everyone?)
5. How are Marriage Coaching or Counseling Helpful?
- According to the AAMFT research, three-fourths of the couples saw improvements in their marriage and relationship after counseling. 98% of the couples who attended marriage counseling or coaching find it helpful and even regarded their coach as good or excellent.
- 90% of the couples experienced an improvement in their emotional health.
- About two-thirds of the couples admitted progress in their physical health too. You can read 10 red flags in a relationship with a woman.
So, marriage coaching and counseling for marriage problems are rather impactful if you want to improve your relationship. What happens in marriage counseling is to help you realize the weaker sides and amend them effectively with mutual effort. (Also read How to End a Toxic Friendship?)