How to Deal With a Disrespectful Child?

What is Disrespect? What causes Disrespect? How Does Restitution Work? How to Coach your Kid?

Giving respect or disrespect to someone is a part of personality. No one is brought up with the lessons to disrespect someone. But sometimes, the wrong pattern followed by parents while raising the kid or situations that a child goes through will make them disrespectful. There are various examples of disrespect to parents. Sometimes, parents find it hard to respond to the kid. Let us learn about how to deal with a disrespectful child effectively without harming their mental peace.

1. What is Disrespect?

Disrespecting does not only include insulting someone. But it also means behaving rudely, ignorantly, or arrogantly with an elderly person. There are several ways in which children show disrespect towards their parents, elders, or anyone else. (See What is an Unhealthy Relationship?)

2. What possibly causes Disrespectful Behavior?

Before knowing how to deal with a disrespectful child and its consequences, you should read about the reasons which are responsible for this behavior. No one is born with a bad attitude or arrogant behavior. So if a child is being disrespectful, then various factors are to be blamed.

  • The roles played by parents in their upbringing are responsible. Blaming disrespect as a genetic issue is an excuse that most parents give to defend their disrespectful children in public.
  • One of the main reasons children are spoiled is that their parents cannot provide quality time with kids. And to cover this up, they give gadgets to divert the minds of their kids. So kids develop an attachment to these things rather than to their parents.
  • Sometimes parents do not handle the tantrums in the right way. Think about how to deal with a disrespectful child if you are either very strict or neglectful towards them. This would make the kids more spoiled and demanding, resulting in more bad behavior. 
  • Most of the time, parents either over criticize or under criticize the success and failures of their children. This imbalance creates a deep trench in kids’ hearts, leading to a feeling of resentment.
  • Parents avoid talking to their kids about anything because, according to them, they are too young or not in the right mindset.
  • The most important influence on their personality is their parents’ behavior, conduct, and reactions. It is common in families where parents argue and fight and how they deal with their children after that affects the child’s psychology. (Must read Best Child Psychology Books)

Now the question is, how to deal with a disrespectful child if such negative thoughts have gotten into their minds? Let’s answer this in the later parts of the article. (Also read Nature of a Whiny Child)

3. What are the Examples of Disrespect to Parents?

You might wonder how to deal with a disrespectful child if they cant learn manners. These kids consider themselves the center of their universe and are not concerned about what and where they are saying. Some examples of disrespect shown to parents are listed below. 

  • Every child has been taught magical words ever since they joined playschools. But if a child is not using those words according to the situations, like please, sorry, or thank you, then it is clear that they consider the other person is not worth it.
  • The kids might share any information regarding their parents’ personal lives with anyone they feel which is a way of disrespecting privacy.
  • They never want to compromise, and everything should be according to their wishes and mood. They care less if their behavior or words make the other person uncomfortable.
  • They never help parents at home, and when they are assigned a task, they ignore or refuse it.
  • They don’t show any respect while talking to parents which they do in the same way they communicate with their friends or random classmates. Being friendly with parents is fine, but there should be a boundary for language and tone.
  • Most kids accept gifts from their parents without complaining. But a disrespectful kid doesn’t respect others’ feelings and gets angry if the present is not as per his expectations.  
  • They lack the basic sense of empathy for their friends, a sick relative, or even their parents.

As you read the examples of disrespectful behavior, now you should take charge and understand your situation, and find ways how to deal with a disrespectful child. Here are some solutions to it in the next segment. (See Woes of the Bored and Lonely Mind)

4. How to Deal With a Disrespectful Child?

Dealing with a disrespectful child is not easy but as a parent, you should make the child aware of the bad behavior. It has to be done to fix the bad conduct the child has towards you and other people. 

  • If the child is in a pre-teenage phase and is getting angry over a simple matter, it is better to remain calm at that moment as it is necessary to avoid the attention-seeking behavior.
  • Lecturing the child at that moment is not required because he will get a chance to escape. Instead, tell him to do it if he does not want to bear the consequences, like being grounded or having no pocket money for a week. 
  • But try not to be rude. Explain afterward what he did was wrong and, he needs to learn when and how to behave. (See How to Deal With Family Members Who Put You Down?)
  • Restitution is the process of compensating for the loss of the person suffering loss. So, if a child has insulted his parents or an elder, then tell him to pay for it. But don’t force him to apologize as that might lead him to make a fake apology.
  • How to deal with a disrespectful child also depends on how you teach your kids to take responsibility for their behavior and mend the ties with the person they have hurt. (Also read Am I Passive Aggressive?)

5. How to be a Coach?

Parents are the first teachers for a kid. There is nothing in this world that a parent cannot teach the kid. Remember, if they can learn how to be angry with their parents, then they will also learn how to control their behavior.

  • Every parent wants their kid to be a responsible adult, and for that, they have to be responsive and intelligent.
  • Parents should spend time with kids to understand their mindset. They can share their personal experiences and teach them good values. This will make them feel important and the bond will also get stronger.
  • Sometimes practical consequences work better for teaching rather than just talking for hours and wasting time. So tell them how much loss parents faced as an individual just because of their behavior. (See What is the Difference Between Hearing and Listening?)

6. Why stay Prepared and Determined?

A parent should always be determined and prepared because giving up is not an option. They are children and not some random person or situation which can be handled by neglecting it. It is a responsibility from the beginning till the end. But if things are falling apart, take charge and mend broken bonds. Sometimes it can be more challenging than you think because a child’s broken heart and trust are not easy to cure if they have grown up that way. Try to understand your child better, work out things the way they respond best, and you will get excellent output. (See How to End a Toxic Friendship?)

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