Video Summary: The skill of self confidence by Dr. Ivan Joseph

TED Talk – The Skill of Self-Confidence by Dr. Ivan Joseph | Video Summary: The skill of self-confidence
  1. Self-confidence is the first skill that I look for in any prospect player

    Joseph: The first thing I look for before giving scholarships to prospect players is self-confidence because when you lose sight or belief in yourself, you can achieve nothing.

  2. Definition of confidence: The ability to accomplish any task no matter what

    Joseph: Self-confidence is the ability to believe in yourself to accomplish a certain task no matter the odds, the difficulty or the adversity.

  3. Self-confidence is a skill that can be acquired

    Joseph: Don’t say I’m shy, I won’t be able to build confidence. Confidence is a skill that can be acquired with proper training and by following the right methods (discussed later).

  4. The easiest way to build confidence is through repetition

    Joseph: Just like Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000-hours rule, if you do something over and over, you will be good at it. The one thing that stops people from being confident is giving up midway.

  5. He then gave an example of a goalie he had who wasn’t confident at catching balls but now plays in Europe

    Joseph: I had a goalie (6 ft.) who used to flip a ball whenever he tries to catch it. I told him to go to the wall, kick the ball against it and touch it. After doing this 350 times each day for 8 months, he became very good at it and he’s now playing in Europe.

  6. The problem with repetition is that people bail out after adversity and failure

    Joseph: Edison discovered the light bulb after 1,000-10,000 attempts and J. K. Rowling’s books were rejected 12 or 13 times before being published. If anyone had faced the same kind of rejection, he or she would have given up.

  7. The second way of building self-confidence is through self-talk

    Joseph: Positive self-talk, like the one used by Muhammad Ali when he kept saying to himself (I am the greatest) even before he made it to greatness, is what builds self-confidence. (See How to Practice Self-Love?)

  8. People will start to doubt you. Why add one more voice to them (your voice)?

    Joseph: There are enough people telling you you can’t do it, you’re not good enough. Why be an extra one and tell yourself that you can’t?

  9. My affirmation is: I am the captain of my ship and master of my fate

    Joseph: Use quiet moments in your bedroom or when you’re brushing your teeth to reaffirm your thoughts. I use ‘I am the captain of my ship and the master of my fate’ because if I don’t say it, if I don’t believe it, no one else will.

  10. Get away from people who will tear you down

    Joseph: I have put a list beside my mirror of all the things that make me who I am. If I make mistakes and everybody starts to tear me down for making them, then sooner or later I will start to believe these people.

  11. Writing a self-confidence letter to myself helped me endure many difficulties

    Joseph: When I used to suffer from low self-confidence, I wrote a letter to myself to congratulate myself for achievements that I haven’t already made (career, marriage, children). By reading my brag sheet for two weeks, I managed to get through the storm.

  12. Have something (a symbol) to push you forward in hard times

    Joseph: Lance Armstrong’s wrist band (Live Strong) wasn’t a brand. It was to remind him of who he was. He would move his wristband from one arm to another when doubt and fear hit him.

  13. When coaching, instead of correcting a mistake, praise its opposite behavior

    Joseph: If I had a player (A) who makes a certain mistake, I go and praise another one (B) who did it correctly. This builds up confidence for player B and helps player A learn the correct behavior through the praise process, instead of crushing their confidence and making them feel like failures.

  14. At home with kids: Praise the positive behavior that you want to reinforce.

    Joseph: Praise kids when they’re good, like ‘Thank you Alice for taking your glass to the counter’, instead of shouting or complaining. This makes them more confident.

  15. Experiment: When basketball players saw how good they played, they improved

    Joseph: When coaches showed videos to the players of the Kansas City basketball team of the moments when they played well, their performance improved.

  16. Confident people interpret feedback the way they choose to

    Joseph: Confident people have their own perception about themselves that they stick to no matter what. When my son doesn’t play well in a game, he always describes himself performing well so he preserves the perception he has of himself. This attitude is important to keep going. (See Video summary: How do you define yourself by Lizzie Velasquez | TEDxAustinWomen)

  17. No one will believe in you, unless you do

    Joseph: If I can give you one thing then it will be this: No one will believe in you, unless you start doing it first.

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