Why can’t I stop talking? I should talk less often. Does this sound like you? Learn to spot the signs that you talk too much.
1. Your Conversations & Friendships are Lopsided
In a relationship, conversations are two-sided. However, if you talk a lot, your friends know more about you than you know about them. Then, it is a red sign that you are providing them more information than required, which may prove to be harmful later. It’s an age-old saying, good conversations go back and forth. But if you’re not asking people questions or listening to them, then you are a super talkative person. You should spend time asking people about their experiences as well as sharing your own so that communication would be wholesome. (See What does it mean to be a Good Friend?)
2. Your Friends Joke that You Talk a Lot
Do you always find your friends making fun of you for being talkative? If yes, then it is one of the signs that you talk too much. Your friends may be avoiding serious confrontation on the same. If you find them doing this repeatedly, just go and ask them if they think you are too chatty.
3. You are Mostly Interrupted during Conversations
Sometimes, people might just want to make themselves heard & interrupt in between. It is true that interrupting someone is rude. However, if you go on blabbering too much that is the only way left for others to chime in. Try and divide equal time between all participants of a conversation.
4. It is a long story is included in most Conversation
If your story begins with a back story that keeps going on monotonously, it may sound like a lecture to the listener. So, stop avoiding contexts like “Okay, so the backstory is…”, “for reference”, and “So, basically the situation began”. Otherwise, you will be the only one speaking and others wouldn’t get the chance to do so. Discuss what’s relevant and keep things interesting. (Also see Why Talking Tom Cat got so popular?)
5. You Regret your Conversations Later
Have you caught yourself saying that I wish I hadn’t said that. Then, you are certainly oversharing your life with those around you. Theories revealed that oversharing with people can cause problems in later stages. This is another one of the signs that you talk too much.
6. You are Hyper-verbal
When you don’t get a chance to talk, the speed at which you speak increases. This is different from pressure speech. Wait for your turn to speak and avoid awkward or unclear communication. (Also read Why do people fight?)
7. You are a Compulsive Communicator
Researches have shown talkaholism to exist as a positive trait. But if the conversation goes too far, the communication becomes boring. A few signs that you talk too much are outlined below:
- You go on talking too much regardless of the topic.
- You struggle to talk less.
- Others in the group tell you about your talkativeness.
- You fail to realize that you talk excessively.
- You take over conversations.
- You do not bother about the negative remarks in a conversation.
Ways to Stop Talking Too Much
Now, that you know how to spot the signs that you talk too much, then you should try to fix this problem.
- Learn to be patient and listen more to people. Try and understand what they want to tell you. In this way, there can be a two-way conversation.
- Encourage yourself to ask questions and not be a mere speaker. Remember, that conversation should be 50-50.
- Use the F.O.R.D method – Family, Occupation, Recreation, and Dreams. F.O.R.D helps you to create a base of what questions to ask from someone.
- Body language is the next important thing to master when interacting with someone to determine whether someone is interested in the topic you have chosen.
- It is important to acknowledge the fact that silence is normal in conversations. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the conversation is boring if someone is silent. If this happens, give the other person a minute to process and then, let them start the conversation.
Talkativeness as Personality Trait
Research shows that talkativeness is nothing more than just a personality trait. Extroverts are mostly talkative and many people enjoy being around them. On the other hand, introverts prefer to listen and stay reserved. (See Why some people don’t like to talk?)
Moreover, talkativeness can be a form of mental condition, such as:
- Pressured speech happens in the case of a maniac or a hypomanic patient.
- Disorganized speech is seen as a symptom of Schizotypal Personality Disorder.
- Hyperverbal speech is a commonly seen symptom during anxiety and ADHD.
- Patients suffering from bipolar disorder tend to talk about themselves a lot.
If any of these signs that you talk too much prevail, it is advisable to visit a therapist before the situation gets out of control.