20 Reasons People Break Up

What is a Break-Up? What are the various Reasons for a Break-Up? Why does Understanding each other get Difficult? What are the Complicated Issues that need to be sorted?
20 reasons people break up

Relationships and marriages are like a roller-coaster ride. There are all sorts of moments that you experience with your partner. But problem arises when only you are experiencing all sorts of emotions while your partner is not interested at all. And all these situations become the very reasons that people break up. You will know about 20 such reasons below.

Define Break Up

It is the end of a relationship, marriage, or romantic commitment between people. There are various reasons people break up, but compared with the old times, these breakups have increased immensely. The top reasons couples break up are listed below.

1. High Expectations

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This is one of the most common reasons people break up. According to Jodi Picoult, author of Nineteen Minutes, there are two ways to be happy: understand your reality and lower your expectations. It mostly happens that one person expects a long-lasting happy relationship and the other one wants just something casual for a shorter period of time. This is when expectations take a toll on your relationship, and either you or the other person chooses to walk away. (See What is Romantic Love in Psychology?)

2. Unwillingness to Understand Each Other

Nowadays, couples try to understand each other or pretend to do so in the initial days. However, as the relationship ages, things become difficult to deal with. Your tastes, likes, dislikes, and everything else which matched, in the beginning, are no longer a point of similarity but rather create differences. (See How Do You Handle Difficult Situations?)

3. Inability to Read Each Other’s Mind

People want their partners to be like Professor Charles Xavier (X-Men) and read their minds. But life is not some comic book and no one is a mutant here. But having such unrealistic expectations ruins things between the happy couple. You want them to understand that you want to watch a romantic movie and order Chinese food without actually telling him. These things happen gradually in a relationship but you can not expect or force anyone to read your mind and act accordingly. (See Is Telepathy Real in Love?)

4. Constant Comparision

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People start the journey towards break-up when they begin to compare their relationship with other couples. Without realizing that each person is different and so is your relationship with them. You want to receive a bouquet from your partner just like the guy next door. But you neglect the dinner they prepared for you as a token of love. Unknowingly, this might become one of the top reasons people break up. (See What is an Unhealthy Relationship?)

5. Lack of Support 

There are situations where one partner wants extra support and love from you. It could be due to overtime at work or having a hectic day with kids. If you are not willing to support your partner at such a time, they feel neglected. (See How Men Deal With Breakups?)

6. Communication Gap

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Couples tend to lose this essential characteristic of a relationship and this becomes one of the most common reasons people break up. Things can be resolved by sitting and having an open discussion about problems and solutions. But assuming, arguing, distrusting, and backbiting lead to most of the breakups. If you are not ready to talk, be ready for a break-up. (See What is the Difference Between Hearing and Listening?)

7. Controlling Behavior 

Couples often tend to control each other in stupid ways that can be intimidating, at times. Like, it is fine to tell your partner what suits them or what they should wear on a date night. But controlling their entire wardrobe or their social circle is not acceptable. This makes the relationship suffocating. (See How to End a Toxic Friendship?)

8. Anger Issues

While discussing the reasons people break up, it is one of the most common issues that can destroy any relationship. You face situations at work and your partner faces some situations at home, with in-laws, or kids. You both are in a bad mood, but your wife welcomes you with a smile while you scream at her for being late in opening the door. Considering your partner to be a punching bag and targeting your anger at them ruins the relationship. (See Significance of CBT Anger Management Therapy)

9. Abusive Nature


It can be physical or mental, or both. A person might feel helpless, trapped, and suffocated in such situations. And a suffocated person cannot and should not bear this burden for a long time. (See Am I Passive Aggressive?)

10. Mistrust

Trust is the backbone of any relationship and if there are any cracks in it, then the relationship will crumble. Sometimes a person is suspicious by nature and does not trust their partner and tries to control or spy on them. At other times, a person has a character that leads to suspicion, and their hiding or lying habits make things worse. (See What is Breakup Therapy?)

11. Holding Onto Grudges

Holding Grudges

This happens when there is a lack of communication among couples. If the misunderstandings are not cleared as soon as they arise, then this can result in an outburst of anger very soon. And an angry person does not think before he speaks. This would lead to even bigger arguments and probably, a breakup. (See What is a Positive Mindset?)

12. Lack of Mutual Respect

Initially, you misunderstood their attention for respect. With time, you realize that you respect him but he does not respect you, nor your opinion, presence, feelings, and your love for them. And this is another reason for people to break up because there is a lack of mutual respect. (See How to Deal With Family Members Who Put You Down?)

13. Imbalanced Roles & Responsibilities

You take your decisions as and when you want without even consulting with or informing others. But she has to ask you everything before doing it. If you want to go on a trip with friends, you decide for yourself and just drop a text about being late. But when she wants to attend a family function, she has to seek your permission. (See What to Do When You Feel Like a Failure?)

14. Unappreciative Behaviour

Not Showing any Appreciation

Yes, when a person lacks empathy and feels no need to appreciate the attempts and efforts made by the other person, things turn to the west. Also, instead of appreciating, they want you to change yourself. This is certainly a deal-breaker. (See Psychology of Ignoring Someone)

15. Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem Issues

If a person develops negative self-worth, they will start to lose confidence. This can lead to the development of an inferiority complex. Such a mental state is not only harmful to the individual but also to the relationship. (See How to Practice Self-Love?)

16. Inability to Express Love & Affection

After a certain period, couples tend to lose that spark in their relationship. With time, they forget to express their love through small gestures. Sometimes, one person likely pays no heed to the sweet gestures the other person is making. This lack of interest ruins the relationship. This too is one of the primary reasons people break up. (Also read 18 Symbols that Represent Love)

17. Afraid to Face Challenges 

Not ready for Facing Challenges 

There are happy and sad days in a relationship. People who just want to be in a relationship on happy days but are scared or sad or on difficult days cannot stay in a relationship. These types of relationships fall off easily, even with a little bump in their ride. (See Psychology Behind Vicarious Embarrassment)

18. Difference in  Attitude Regarding Finances

If your partner is ashamed of your job, income, standard of living, or other such things, then they will try to seek out a way out of the relationship as soon as possible. (See Importance of Marriage Coaching)

19. Jealousy – The Green-Eyed Monster

Fighting for your loved ones or fighting to keep them with you is one thing. But when a person constantly makes his partner jealous of things they are irritated about, it leads to severe frustration. The person begins to feel the need for someone who is more sensitive than you and might decide to seek the same elsewhere. (See How to identify jealous people?)

20. Need for Physical Satisfaction

Sometimes, physical satisfaction also plays an integral role in breakups. Also, when a person tries to seek physical pleasure or satisfaction outside their relationship, things do not end well. This is termed cheating. Infidelity is definitely a deal-breaker, be it physical, mental, or emotional. (See 7 Stages of Grief after Breakup)

It is time to share these top reasons couples break up and spread awareness among couples.

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