Friendship is one such relationship which you have cherished from your childhood till the day you die. As you grow up, the definition of friendship changes. You all have numerous memories of your friends from school and college life, but sometimes you are stuck with the wrong friend, and your friendship is no more fun. Instead, it became a toxic friendship. Today, you will read about what is a toxic friendship and what to say to a toxic friend to get out of such a relationship. You will also get to know how to end a toxic friendship as soon as possible.
1. What is a Toxic Friendship?
Friendship is a two-way process in which the amount of love and care you give to another person will be reciprocated. But, when the other person is not putting equal effort into friendship, and they expect you to be the one putting effort into working things out, then it is a toxic friendship. Several signs tell you that you should get yourself out of this friendship. But sometimes, you fail to understand these signs, while sometimes you ignore them. Before moving further, first understand how to recognize a toxic friendship and then find the solutions for how to end a toxic friendship. (Also read What does it mean to be a Good Friend?)
2. What does a Toxic Friend do?
A good friend will be your support system, but a toxic friend will do the exact opposite.
- A toxic friend will keep doing things that hurt or disturb you, and they will not even show a sign of regret or guilt. Instead, they will make you feel that it was your fault.
- Pulling each other’s legs is fine, but putting you down regularly, especially in front of everyone, is not a good sign.
- The next thing they do is fake apologies but repeat the same things without any sense of humanity. Things like this make you wonder how to end a toxic friendship.
- If you still don’t know them and how they will react, you might not be comfortable around them. You feel relieved when you leave or they leave.
- They want you to hear them out all the time and everywhere, but they hardly focus or take an interest in what you need to say. They are only concerned about themselves.
- They ignore you and always turn in their excuse of being busy, but they get time to spend with other friends.
- Every person has a different personality, and this is how you make different-natured friends. But when a friend is trying to change you according to their needs and requirements, then it is a sign you need to find some good friends. If they are not ready to respect you and your personality, they are not friends. (Also read What is an Unhealthy Relationship?)
3. How does it feel to be in a Toxic Friendship?
Similar to a toxic relationship, a toxic friendship also ruins your mental and emotional peace. Instead of feeling happy and protected, you feel lonely, stressed, and unsupported. They are not concerned about your problems, and they say things that will increase your stress levels. Since you are out of confidence and feel very low, you will blame yourselves for their way of treating you. You are not ready to accept the fact that they are being mean to you. It’s high time that you take the necessary steps to end this friendship without giving it second thought. (Also read How to Heal Yourself Emotionally?)
4. How to End a Toxic Friendship?
The initial step towards ending a toxic friendship is to accept that you should let it go. Thinking about all the good and bad will help you in making the decision. Ask a few questions and answer them yourselves to find a solution. Why does it feel like a toxic friendship if it were actually good? Once you have decided to end things,
- You should not find excuses for shifting it to the next week or another day.
- You should not wait for the right time and opportunity. (See What is the Difference Between Hearing and Listening?)
5. What to Say to a Toxic Friend?
There are two ways, either cut them off or talk your heart out before ending things. If you are cutting them off, it means you will not be answering their calls or texts. You are not going to run for their help anymore, and you will not respond to any of their tactics of reaching you, like spreading false rumors, coming over to your house, etc. But if you feel that saying things out loud will make you feel better, you should go with this option. Either way, it is not going to affect them. It is your decision to find how to end a toxic friendship and not theirs.
Sometimes these toxic friends are narcissistic and are not ready to let you go easily. So, you have to make hard decisions and say some harsh words too. Since you have cut them out, they will try to reach out to you when they need your help. That is the moment you should stay strong. Blocking these people away from your contact list, social media accounts, emails, etc., is an easy way to get rid of those continuous calls and cheesy texts. (Also read What happens when you block someone on WhatsApp?)
6. What to do After Ending a Toxic Friendship?
Ending a friendship doesn’t mean that you should remain friend-less for the rest of your lives. In order to heal, move on, trust others & make some new friends, it is important to forgive toxic ones. Forgiving a person helps you recover quickly rather than holding a grudge against them. Getting social will help, but you should set your boundaries and keep your priorities straight about how a friend should behave with you. Put yourself first and look at whether they are listening and caring about you the same way you are ready to care for them or not. (See PhD Vs PsyD in Psychology)
So today, you discovered how to end a toxic friendship by analyzing and deciding things accordingly. Always choose your friends wisely. (Also read Woes of the Bored and Lonely Mind)